No, not the Avril Lavigne song... although it does fit my mood.
Everything is falling to pieces, most everything in my life is just falling apart and I'm just making it worse. Before I was terrified of college, and I still am, but at least now I can go somewhere where no one knows me and no one knows how much my life sucks. The sad part is I know there is still some good in my life but I just can't focus on it.
I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart and my soul, I constantly feel sick to my stomach. I don't want to eat (I do though), and I can't sleep and its all because of him. I just don't understand how everything has changed so suddenly. On the plus side this is the first day I haven't cried since Tuesday. That's not to say that I haven't come close.
How can I just pretend that we never had anything, that we didn't spend almost an entire year the way we did. And here are the tears. How can I pretend that every time I see you, I don't want to fall to pieces and that everything is ok between us? That you didn't move two days from breaking up? How can I pretend that I'm not falling apart inside and that nothing is ok with me? All I want to do is lay in bed and never come out. Most of all I just feel so, so, so sad and I don't know how to make it go away.
When I told you that one day you would miss me, and no girl will ever live up to what we had, all you could say is "Same to you" you don't even deny it, and yet you feel nothing for me anymore? You love me as just a friend? When did things change?
You've already moved on, and all you want from me is to do the same. I can't do it that fast, not like you apparently can. But of course, I'll try. I'll do anything, just to see you smile. And if me moving on would make you smile than I'll do it. I just want you to be happy, no matter how sad it makes me. So I'll go on meaningless dates (like last night) in an effort to move you out of my heart. I've already started participating in self destructive behavior (the kind I will not admit to anyone, not even strangers on the Internet), look what you've turned me into.
"Just to see you smile, I'd do anything that you wanted me to do. When all is said and done its worth all that's lost, I'll never count the cost. Just to see you smile."
I've turned into someone so pathetic and sad, and that just makes me feel more sad. I just miss you so much.
You broke my heart, but I still love you with all the pieces. </3
Forever and for always, your love.
Everything is falling to pieces, most everything in my life is just falling apart and I'm just making it worse. Before I was terrified of college, and I still am, but at least now I can go somewhere where no one knows me and no one knows how much my life sucks. The sad part is I know there is still some good in my life but I just can't focus on it.
I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart and my soul, I constantly feel sick to my stomach. I don't want to eat (I do though), and I can't sleep and its all because of him. I just don't understand how everything has changed so suddenly. On the plus side this is the first day I haven't cried since Tuesday. That's not to say that I haven't come close.
How can I just pretend that we never had anything, that we didn't spend almost an entire year the way we did. And here are the tears. How can I pretend that every time I see you, I don't want to fall to pieces and that everything is ok between us? That you didn't move two days from breaking up? How can I pretend that I'm not falling apart inside and that nothing is ok with me? All I want to do is lay in bed and never come out. Most of all I just feel so, so, so sad and I don't know how to make it go away.
When I told you that one day you would miss me, and no girl will ever live up to what we had, all you could say is "Same to you" you don't even deny it, and yet you feel nothing for me anymore? You love me as just a friend? When did things change?
You've already moved on, and all you want from me is to do the same. I can't do it that fast, not like you apparently can. But of course, I'll try. I'll do anything, just to see you smile. And if me moving on would make you smile than I'll do it. I just want you to be happy, no matter how sad it makes me. So I'll go on meaningless dates (like last night) in an effort to move you out of my heart. I've already started participating in self destructive behavior (the kind I will not admit to anyone, not even strangers on the Internet), look what you've turned me into.
"Just to see you smile, I'd do anything that you wanted me to do. When all is said and done its worth all that's lost, I'll never count the cost. Just to see you smile."
I've turned into someone so pathetic and sad, and that just makes me feel more sad. I just miss you so much.
You broke my heart, but I still love you with all the pieces. </3
Forever and for always, your love.
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